8 Reasons Why So Many Women Hate Seeing Themselves in Photos (and Why They're Wrong)

Is this how you react to being photographed? If you answered "yes", then read on!

Being Camera-Shy is Common, But Thinking You Can Never Look Good in Photos is a Misconception Based on Flawed Evidence!

It’s no secret that many women cringe at the very thought of appearing in front of the camera and often hate seeing themselves in photos. I can almost see you nodding in agreement! And they remain absolutely convinced that it must somehow be their fault for being completely un-photogenic. I’ve had these conversations with countless women over my 20-plus years of being a professional headshot photographer, so if this is you, read on to find out why you're wrong!

A Question for You!
Now, when you say with absolute certainty, “I never look good in photos”, which photos are you referring to exactly? Because in my experience, the majority of women make judgements on how they look based on one of the following, which means they're doing themselves a huge disservice and are most certainly wrong.

1. The Snap
The good old snapshot. Taken at Christmas, birthdays, holidays and sundry other causes for celebration. And also the number one reason why so many of us hate seeing ourselves in photos - which is crazy!

A snap versus a professional headshot. 

I love snapshots of happy moments – it’s so important to document the important times in our lives. But a snap is just that – it’s spontaneous and seldom a masterpiece, which is absolutely fine.

Honestly, who ever looked good under dodgy lighting or when caught unawares at a party or on the beach? Because that’s how most snaps happen.

These photos are taken by our family, friends and colleagues who are not professional photographers. They're not going to be concerned about getting the light just right and they won't know how to pose you in the right way – why would they? Which means that blaming yourself for looking terrible in a snapshot just doesn’t make sense. 

Me and my 93 year-old mum, photographed by my 91 year-old dad! A happy moment captured in a snap.

So please don't judge your appearance based on how you look in a snap. It may not win any awards, but if it captures a happy moment, then just remember the good times. But if you need an important headshot taken, then ask someone who knows what they’re doing :) Honestly, it will make a massive difference!

2. The Staff Pass
On my first day in a new job, I had my staff photo taken by the office manager. Nervous and with no time to prepare, I remember blinking like a dazed rabbit in the headlights. It took about 5 seconds and that one photo (yes, just the one, no retakes allowed) marked my status as an employee. Needless to say, it was hideous and didn’t look like me at all; at least, not the person I recognised as me.

3. The Passport Photo

Ah, the dreaded passport photo. No wonder it’s said that “If you look like your passport photo, then you must be ill”. This also includes any kind of photo for an official document, by the way - so driving licences, railcards etc.

In terms of quality, these are marginally better than the staff pass photo, but that’s only if you have them taken at a high-street studio or photo lab. If you visit one of these, at least you’re being photographed by a human who knows what they’re doing. If you’re in one of those hideous little booths where your disembodied legs are visible to all and sundry, it’s not going to be a happy outcome. To make things even worse, the rules and regulations for passport photos mean you’re not allowed to smile or pose, beyond sitting straight and facing forward; so combined with the horrible flash lighting, the result won’t be brimming over with personality, and you're unlikely to look your best. 

 

My driving licence photo and the real me!

4. The Corporate Headshot

I’ve taken many corporate headshots over the years for big organisations.  If you're an employee rather than being self-employed, then the corporate headshot is something that’s imposed on you; you don’t ask to have it done and so you’re probably going to feel uncomfortable about the whole process.

To make things worse, the purpose of a corporate headshot is to create a consistent identity for the company, the brand etc, and help clients and customers put faces to names: so the style you're photographed in might not necessarily be the best style for you. 

The other thing to bear in mind is that a professional photographer who's hired to photograph lots of people in a day may not have lots of time to engage with their subject and coax the best expressions out of them or photograph them in a way that suits their face shape.

Some organisations can be quite creative with their staff headshots, but it depends on the type of industry you’re in. So if you have a traditional corporate headshot done, don't use it as a measurement of your attractiveness!

And never, ever get your friends or family to choose one for you; they’ll all say it doesn’t look like you, which of course, to them, it doesn’t – they’re more used to seeing a completely different version of you, not the one who goes to the office.

5. The Selfie

And so to the selfie. I have only ever attempted to take a selfie a couple of times, but one thing I can say for certain is that they are not flattering. Looking great in photos requires you to be relaxed; and it definitely helps to have someone to direct your pose and capture natural and genuine expressions.

Taking a selfie also contorts you into an unnatural position, causing tension in your neck and arm muscles. And the fact that your arms aren’t long enough gives an odd perspective and the wrong camera angle, which could enlarge and distort your features.  Yes, you could use a selfie stick or a remote shutter release, but what's lacking is that expert on the other side of the camera who can move around, check the light and the angles, and guide and direct you so you look your absolute best.

6. “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall”

There are two things to be said about mirrors.

Firstly, they’re very often placed in areas with hideous lighting – think public loos and changing rooms which are often lit with cruel spotlights in the ceiling that give everyone a ghoul-like appearance.

Secondly, when you look at yourself in a mirror your image is in reverse, so left becomes right and vice-versa: which means that seeing yourself in a photo could come as a bit of a surprise - “That’s not how I look!” you think, because your reflection is what you’re more used to. And yet it’s how everyone else sees you. It’s a bit similar to hearing your voice on a recording – slightly alarming at first!

7. Abraham Lincoln Was Right

“There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.” ― Abraham Lincoln

We’ve all seen unflattering photos of famous people in the papers; you know, those ones where they’ve been caught half-blinking, or with a smirk or grimace on their face as they were talking or reacting to something. But that doesn’t mean they look like that all the time!

It can take anything from a 125th of a second or faster to take a photo of someone – that’s a TINY amount of time and yes, of course your face is going to look strange occasionally. When you consider how many expressions a human face is capable of, what with blinking, frowning, laughing, smiling, if someone were to photograph us all day long, there’d be loads of unflattering shots in there!

But having your photo taken professionally means you don’t have to worry about any of that. A professional photographer’s job is to engage with their subject and know how to capture their best expressions, not fire away haphazardly. Naturally, there’ll be some blinks and the occasional unexpected frown or grimace in there, because your expression is changing minutely all the time, but these are edited out and you get to see only the very best images which will all have been professionally processed too.

8. We Are Our Own Worst Critics.

Women’s feelings of self-worth are so bound up with society’s pressures on us to look younger, slimmer, “attractive” etc, that it can be really hard to silence our inner critics. Add to that the many filters available on your phone that allow you to “face tune” yourself to within an inch of your life, and you have the perfect recipe for “compare and despair” syndrome. We really do set ourselves unrealistic standards to live up to!

This means that it's virtually impossible to be objective about your own photo; we always home in on those features that we dislike or are sensitive about, and fail to see the whole picture.

Your Headshot is for Others to Look at, Not You

But remember that your headshot is there to be looked at by your clients, prospective employers etc – not by you! Most people looking at it will not see you as you see yourself, mainly because they don’t know you. However, they will notice (even if it’s only on a sub-conscious level) bad lighting, poor posing or over-filtering, and they will make various assumptions, fair or unfair, based on those things.

Yes, You Can Look Good in Photos!

So next time you catch yourself thinking “I never look good in photos”, just remember that the final result has more to do with the lighting and the expertise of the person behind the camera. Everyone can look great in photos, but they don’t happen by accident. 

If you want to look like the best version of yourself possible, it takes planning and preparation. Please don’t start with a selfie or a snapshot and then expect to be elated with the results. Be kinder to yourself by stacking the odds in your favour a little more! All it takes are good light, good outfits, colours that suit you, and an expert who knows what they're doing.

I help women of all ages look and feel fabulous in photos. 

Contact me at anna@annasaverimuttu.co.uk or call on 01483 571119/07768 975053.